Motivated Monday

How fun is this! 

I think I echo Kelsey's thoughts on how awesome an opportunity this is and how 2015 is OUR YEAR!  I was so glad to kick 2014 in the ass and bid it farewell!  It did a number on me, and our whole family.  But...what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger, right?

Last summer when Meg started the maiden voyage of SMChallenge, I had the best of intentions at being active and trying to get back to me.  It turned out to be harder than I thought, and I half-asses my way through, pretending to be going through the motions.  With the constant back and forth from the hospital, I just never was able to establish any kind of routine.  What I DID do was absorb as much as I could from everyone, and practice with IIFYM.  I started going to the grocery store and buying food that I could keep in the room or the fridge that didn't take much cooking....or could be cooked in the microwave....I got a little creative.  When I did order out, I measured it all and did the best I could logging in MFP.  I really did try to at least adjust my eating and control the things I could.

You can see when you read through the last few posts, that I am extremely excited and motivated more so than I have been in a very long time.  There are amazing things happening through our groups as well as on the home front.  I have so much to be thankful for, and I am looking forward to all that 2015 is gonna be!!

 

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Diet Bet

Holy Crap!  I just did it!  Dang you, Meg!  :)  No, really!  You have fully and wholeheartedly motivated me to FINALLY be in this thing 100%!!  I am so motivated by our groups, your blog, the challenges, my new found commitment!  I am taking part in my very first Diet Bet!  I am so excited!  Yay!  Yay!  Yay!!!  I really cant get enough...I find myself thinking, and scheming, and planning....There is truly a big ass fire under my ass right now, and all it wasn't to do is be better than I was yesterday.

I went to Johnny's Pizza for lunch with the family....two words....PIZZA BUFFET.  I ate a giant salad, 1 cheese stick, and 1 small piece of pizza.  And, after I ate my salad, which I logged in MFP, I pre-checked the pizza and breadstick to see if they fit my macros before I even committed to them.  I do not want to mess this up.

Wish me luck!  I am on a mission...watch out, yall!!!

Slow and Steady

The new year has gotten off to a great start!!!  First and foremost, Berkeley had her first checkup with her oncologist since mid-December.  Typical blood work was done and they flushed and hep-locked her port.  All blood work seems to have regulated nicely, and she is about a pound heavier than when she started last January....which is a God send because at this point last year, she had finished her first round of chemo and was in a downhill spiral of a 13 pound loss in a 2 week period....She is scheduled for her 3 month scans in February.  If they are clean, we get to talk taking her port out!  YAY!!!  Please keep us in your prayers that scans remain clean and that we really are on a road leading to a full recovery.  She also has been cleared fully to be active on her softball team!  BIG YAY!!!!

As for me, I have recommitted to myself.  This is my year.  I have been following a few blogs for quite a while, and I finally took all I was seeming and committed myself to getting serious with losing weight and getting fit.  Last year, I watched as Skinny Meg got pregnant, worked out like a boss throughout her pregnancy, and didn't miss a beat once the baby was born getting right back in the swing and moving forward.  Then she started talking about IIFYM, and how amazingly flexible it was and how it wasn't about starvation, but about the actual science behind the nutrition of eating for your body and your activity level.  WHAT?  I know, right.  Last summer she had a challenge, which I tried to commit to.  But, I found that I was not fully, whole heartedly committed...not running back and forth to the hospital, being stuck at the hospital for days at a time, and little time to commit to a regular workout.  But, it did give me a springboard to practice with IIFYM eating.  I had my travel scale, and I weighed everything I ate...even in the hospital.  I lost 15 pounds.  Without really trying or too much effort.

Jump ahead through the holidays.  I really got lax on weighing and measuring, but I was fairly conscientious in my eating....so I thought.... I gained about 8 pounds back...depending on what day it was.

New year, new me, right?  So here is what I am doing to stick to my guns:
1. Fit and Fabulous Falcons:  our newly created "diet club" at school.  We all put in $10 and weighed in.  We are working it in small windows Jan 5 til we get out for Mardi Gras break, then when we return until Spring Break, then til the end of school.  Each window is about 6 weeks long.  For every pound we gain, $1 goes into the pot. Easy.  Not much structure, just Monday weigh ins.

2. SMChallenge group: #TeamPinkRockets  weighing in, completing challenges, and holding each other accountable.  I got lucky to pair with Brittany over the summer, and when this challenge started up, she became the leader of our team.

3. SMNewYear Challenge:  This is another Skinny Meg challenge that I actually submitted an application for, hoping to get a spot and really get "small group" accountability and support.  I really was surprised for being chosen, and it was all the more reason to really commit to establishing a plan and sticking to it.  I am so thankful for Meg for spearheading this, and for Brittany for picking me to be a part of the #fiftyshadesoffit team.

LOTS of accountability.  What I need.  I have been using the IIFYM model, and attending 5am boot camps 1-2 days a week, depending on the week.  I never in a million years ever thought I would say this, but I think I like getting up and working out at 5am.  I think I may start next week trying to get in at least 5am workouts...either boot camp, or going to the gym.  I am also doing the C25K and would love to be able to run (wog) my first race this spring/early summer.  I am registered for a local fundraiser race at the end of January (with a bunch of friends from school), but, realistically, there is no way I will be ready by then, but wherever I am in my C25k program, I will do that on that day.  Even if I do not make a race this summer, I plan on running the Jazz Half Marathon 5K in New Orleans in October/Novemberish.  We attended this last fall, as it is a huge fundraiser for Children's Hospital New Orleans, where Berkeley is a patient.  Berkeley was one of the "faces" for the race this past year and did a lot of public relation stuff leading up to the event.  Come hell or high water, I will run this race.  And, next year, who knows I might get all crazy and go for the full half! 

The thing is...I have a vision.  I have a drive that I have not had in a long time.  I am making things right for me.  Its not to say that its all gonna be fabulous all the time, and I know that.  I feel like I have the tools and the mental readiness that I have been lacking.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin and confident in myself again.

So, thank you...to all that I have met in the SMCHallenge group.

Reflections from 2014

Brutal.  Test of faith. Exhausting.  Survival.  Teamwork.  Blessings.

I am sitting here thinking about the past year.  There are so many words that could be used to fill in the blanks to describe the past year.  January 8th will be the one year anniversary of our world being turned on its back.  A year since we were told our oldest daughter had osteosarcoma, a cancerous tumor, on her right fibula.  A year since we have had a week go by that we were not either in the hospital, or having weekly clinic visits.  A year since I was able to focus on anything but survival.  By the grace of God, we ended chemo in November, and all scans were clear.  It was then that I allowed myself to really cry.  To let it all go.  It has been one hell of a year, and through it all, our family worked together, sacrificed A LOT, and survived.  Now, we live in 3 month windows.  From scan to scan, praying that they continue to come back clean, having the faith that there is a reason for us to be on this journey. 

Through it all, knowing that I needed to change my habits and get healthier, I tried to make the best choices that I could given the circumstances.  There are not a lot of time for working out.  Whether it be that I was at home with the twins running them around or sitting at the hospital, when I did have a small window of opportunity, I was too exhausted to do anything but just be.  Both my husband and I were able to maintain our full time jobs (thankfully, Dad's office isn't but a few miles from the hospital and was able to work from the hospital room), and I was also taking classes online for an add-on to my teaching license.  I did, for the most part, track my food most of the year.  This summer, following Skinny Meg for quite some time, I picked up the IIFYM planning.  I toted my mini scale with me from work to home to the hospital, and managed to lose about 15 pounds.  That's the MOST I have ever lost without having to "try" to hard....and not starving and being miserable.  I figure it was the best I could do, and under the circumstances, that would have to be enough for the time being.

Fast forward to now.  Three days until the new year.  I look forward to 2015.  It has to be better than 2014!  I HAVE to make this work on all cylinders.  For me, but for my family as well.  I need to do everything in my power to keep my kids healthy and active.    I have to always remind myself that I am my own story.  I am at my own place in this journey.  I want to be realistic, but I also want to be hopeful and successful.  I am weak.  I make excuses.  I bend the rules.  I feel like I need constant supervision.  I need accountability in the worst way.  My goals for this year are to follow the IIFYM model, and work out at least 3 times a week to start out.  I want to find a trainer to work with a few times a week, and I will be working on that in the next few weeks.

I will be updating this blog with my journey.  Please feel free to follow me here and to leave comments below. 

So many thoughts.....

I have just let life tie me down, and have not been as good at re-committing to my blog as I had intended.  With back to school, me in school, Berkeley's chemo schedule, scouts, baseball, gynmastics.....I just have kinda been trying to survive.  I have really fallen away from all the good things I was doing....MFP, IIFYM, the gym, my challenges....

What I have been thinking A LOT about is diet.  And I don't really mean DIET as in to lose weight. I have been researching a lot about how diet can affect disease, and with Berkeley almost done with chemo, and having that as our safety net that the cancer will not return, I want to be sure I am doing everything I can do to keep her as healthy as possible and give her body all the opportunity to recover and be stronger than ever.  What I have learned during this journey, is that for most of her treatments, she must be fully hydrated, and be in an alkiline state, before they even start the chemo push.  So, aside from hydration, which is a no brainer....I have been doing a lot of research on Alkaline diets.  I have had this recommended to me by more than one cancer survivor as well.  It will be an adjustment, but do not think that it is far from what I have been trying to do anyway.  It will definitely force me to plan and be prepared day in and day out.

If anyone has ANY recommendations and suggestions, please let me know....I just want to soak up as much information as I can.

Happy Monday

Brutal.  Back to School sniffles and sneezes all up in here!  And on top of that, it was ridiculously HAWT yesterday.....at least 250*!  No exaggeration.  Really.  The best part was our AC decided that it would keep out house at a toasty 80* ALL freaking day long!  IT WAS AWESOME!  Luckily our Hurricane preparedness supplies include two small window units that we can run off of a generator (which we have had to do once since moving down here)

Its been pretty overcast here today, so when I got home, it was only 70*.  Much more bearable.  The AC man saved to day and shot our unit up with some freon and cleaned our unit, and we are good as new!

(AC stays set at 68*ish all year round)

I FINALLY had this lightbulb moment today on a meal planner that I could plan everything around our activities and have it all listed on one page.  I decided to keep it to just our dinners, because, with school, we pretty much eat the same thing all week long for breakfast and lunches.  Well, they do.  I plan my days around my Macros.  I, luckily, have a small fridge in my little workroom and a little kitchen area with a microwave and sink area, so I have it packed with stuff to accomodate my diet fairly easily.  (plus the Home Ec room is next door if I REALLY must have a stove)  I am gonna get a little spoiled.  I love my little library world.  

*insert photo here, if I could figure out how.*

Speaking of Macros.  Although I am not working out in any kind of routine, I have my setting that reflect no exercise, and it seems to be working for me.  I have been trying to get in touch with a trainer, but all we have done for the past week is play phone tag.  I just feel like I need someone to take the thinking out of the equation for me and tell me what I need to be doing to be most efficient and effective in getting started.

Water.  AHhhhhhh.....yeah.  I am working so hard to get better at my water intake.  And, overall, I am so much better!  Still not breaking any consistency records, but better.

On top of everything else we have going on, I started my online class last week to get my library science add on to my license.  So, on top of 3 kids, the hubs, school, chemo, scouts, baseball, gymnastics....I will also have my nose deep into a shitload of children's literature this semester.  MOST of the novels I have read...its the nonfiction and picture books that I will have to refresh myself with since I have strictly been in the Junior High scene up until this point.  (new adventure in PK-8 grade librarian)

Please continue to check back here for a regular dose of crazy in the bayou.  I am so excited about my new followers...like real live people!  So fun!  I love this!

Oh, if anyone can tell my how to get my pictures from my ipad camera roll to upload  into my blog, I sure would appreciate the help!

Have you seen me?

I am still looking....so much has happened since I last posted.....IN 2012!!!!  I thought about erasing everything and starting from scratch.  But, that takes too much work.  So, you can see in my full glory, I have not yet found me.....and I have been looking for quite a while now.  I am hoping that by linking up and actually having real live followers that will hold be accountable that this might actually lead me to.....well....me.

Apparently I am terrible a holding myself accountable.  I need a full time babysitter.  AKA...friends in this with me.  When my family and I moved in Aug 2011, I left my biggest support system....my friends.  My co-workers.  My workout partners.  My fellow moms.  Now I am stuck here in the bayou with no one that I have really found to fill that void.  Yes.  I have friends.  But, not THAT kind of friendship has bloomed.  They all have their little age old cliques that they are parts of.  Most of my friends are neighbors, whom I love dearly and am very blessed to have in my life, but its different.  I have a HUGE VOID.  I have been in a funk of massive proportions since moving down here.  I have no motivation.  No will power.  I want those things.  I just feel like I have gotten so far in over my head, there is so much of me that needs an overhaul.  My mind.  My body.  My spirit.

OK, I sound like a whiney little pansy ass.  Who has no friends.  UGH.  So lame.

Yes.  I have an amazing family.  One that is very supportive and recognizes that I need to take better care of myself.  But, its so difficult when the reality of it is that no one else is willing to walk the walk with me and make the changes as a family.  My husband eats a snack in bed every night.  It brutal.  By the time I get in the bed, my macros are filled up.  Yes, I could manage them better to make room for a bedtime snack.  But, I really do not want to be eating that late at night anyway.  Its the principle.

I want to be footloose and fancy free.  I want to be fun.  I want to be confident.  I KNOW what I have to do.  Its just all so much.  It overwhelms me to try and sustain my goals.

I am involved in two challenges....one through Instagram, and one through a combination of IG and FB.  I just want to find my little place in this world.  It is my hope that through these challenges I begin to find myself again.

So, feel free to link up to me.  I am not even sure how to do that, I have been out of the blogging scene, and everything seems so different.  Can someone help me out?  LOL!