Brutal. Test of faith. Exhausting. Survival. Teamwork. Blessings.
I am sitting here thinking about the past year. There are so many words that could be used to fill in the blanks to describe the past year. January 8th will be the one year anniversary of our world being turned on its back. A year since we were told our oldest daughter had osteosarcoma, a cancerous tumor, on her right fibula. A year since we have had a week go by that we were not either in the hospital, or having weekly clinic visits. A year since I was able to focus on anything but survival. By the grace of God, we ended chemo in November, and all scans were clear. It was then that I allowed myself to really cry. To let it all go. It has been one hell of a year, and through it all, our family worked together, sacrificed A LOT, and survived. Now, we live in 3 month windows. From scan to scan, praying that they continue to come back clean, having the faith that there is a reason for us to be on this journey.
Through it all, knowing that I needed to change my habits and get healthier, I tried to make the best choices that I could given the circumstances. There are not a lot of time for working out. Whether it be that I was at home with the twins running them around or sitting at the hospital, when I did have a small window of opportunity, I was too exhausted to do anything but just be. Both my husband and I were able to maintain our full time jobs (thankfully, Dad's office isn't but a few miles from the hospital and was able to work from the hospital room), and I was also taking classes online for an add-on to my teaching license. I did, for the most part, track my food most of the year. This summer, following Skinny Meg for quite some time, I picked up the IIFYM planning. I toted my mini scale with me from work to home to the hospital, and managed to lose about 15 pounds. That's the MOST I have ever lost without having to "try" to hard....and not starving and being miserable. I figure it was the best I could do, and under the circumstances, that would have to be enough for the time being.
Fast forward to now. Three days until the new year. I look forward to 2015. It has to be better than 2014! I HAVE to make this work on all cylinders. For me, but for my family as well. I need to do everything in my power to keep my kids healthy and active. I have to always remind myself that I am my own story. I am at my own place in this journey. I want to be realistic, but I also want to be hopeful and successful. I am weak. I make excuses. I bend the rules. I feel like I need constant supervision. I need accountability in the worst way. My goals for this year are to follow the IIFYM model, and work out at least 3 times a week to start out. I want to find a trainer to work with a few times a week, and I will be working on that in the next few weeks.
I will be updating this blog with my journey. Please feel free to follow me here and to leave comments below.
