Not Much Exciting 'Round Here.....

I am almost out of drops, so I think one day this week will be my last VLCD day for this round. I was really hoping to make it 2 more weeks, but I guess I will have to work with what I got. I am down 10 pound today, so that is exciting. I did another apple day yesterday because my oldest daughter was in a softball tournament all day yesterday, and that seemed to be the most convenient for me to stay on my diet. My weight has been fluctuating a lot, so I thought an apple day wouldn't hurt anything. Aside from that, nothing exciting going on....just trying to stay strong and work through this whole "I have no will-power" issue of mine..... :)


Here are my stats for the week

Neck: 14"
Bicep: 14"
Chest: 41"
Waist: 36"
Hips: 44.5"
Thigh: 25"
Calf: 15.5"
Ankle: 9"

I *heart* Apple Days!!!!

Well, after 2 days of gaining, I decided to do an apple day today. I don't have time to backtrack. I must say I was very skeptical about this, as I have been with every other part of this diet.....it is just way too good to be true. Boy was I surprised to step on the scale tonight, just out of curiosity and be down 1.6 pounds. THIS IS CRAZY! Now, I am curious about tomorrow's weigh in. The apple day was amazingly fairly painless. I ate my first apple at about 10:15 this morning, another at about 2:30, another at about 5:30, and my last one now, as I am sitting here typing at 10:30. I even drank 2 cups of coffee this morning with my non-fat powder creamer, and then 2 cups tonight at my daughter's softball games. I am still just in awe of this whole thing, and skeptically awaiting it to backfire on me.....


:)

Day 17 and counting....7lbs down and 6.75" gone!

I am not gonna lie. I am still getting hungry. But, it is true genuine hunger that is no more or less than if I were not dieting and on a super-low calorie diet. I have been playing with how I spread out my drops, and that helps, but I do get a little hungry about 30min to an hour before I am supposed to eat.

There is no need to dwell on things I can't do anything about, but I must accept it as it is and move on. I set myself back 2 pounds over the weekend. My daughter had 10 girls over for her birthday party/slumber party. We were supposed to have a campfire and roast hotdogs and smores, but it rained, so we grilled the dogs and the kids just played inside and watched movies. I have a HUGE weakness for burnt hotdogs....I LOVE THEM! The more burnt...the better....:)

Over the course of the night, I ate 3-4. GRRRRRR...I got off my regime with all the craziness, and I got hungry and the munchies, and I fell off my wagon. I guess it could have been worse. I did not touch the cake, although, I did catch myself licking the icing off my fingers and the crumbs.....I stopped myself, though.

I did take control.....I just need to remind myself that this is only short term and in a very short time, I will be able to enjoy all of these foods again, but in a more healthy, aware state of mind.

Ok. I got it out. I have accepted my moment of weakness, and I am moving on. As of today I am down 7 pounds and 6.75 inches.  I have listed below, my newest measurements....Have a great day, everyone!

Neck: 14.25"
Bust: 41.5"
Waist: 36.5"
Hips: 45.5"
Bicep: 14.0"
Thigh: 24.0"
Calf: 15.5"

It's been one week.....

Ok. So, it has been 1 week, even though day 1 and 2 were "fatty patty" days. I am down 3.6 pounds. I have realized that I am REALLY bad about wanting to eat just for the sake of having something to do. I knew this, but I have become very aware of it this week, because I have not been hungry when I have had these "I wanna eat" episodes. My 5 "skinny minny" days so far have been very surprising. Like I said before, the first day, I did find myself for real hungry at the end of the day, but I was very laxidaisical in when I was taking my drops. So on Tuesday, I structured a more definite schedule, and from then on, it has been pretty good. Something must be happening, because like any sane person would think, at only 500 calories a day, I SHOULD be STARVING, and I am far from it. Yes, I have found myself a little hungry at times, but it is near a meal time, and I just drink some lemon water and hold myself until my meal or snack time. It really has not bee hard.

I'm B-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-C-K~!~!

Well, I fell off......in a very bad way.  The last part of my summer was a whirlwind of vacation, surgery, back-to-school, softball, and Lord knows what else.  Let's just say it was bad.  Very bad.  I gained back everything I had lost.  Sad but true.

So, here I am....AGAIN.  Trying to get this weight off.  Now.  I know there are many out there that swear only by healthy eating and exercising.  I am here to say that while I do agree, I also think that there are times where a little extra intervention is needed.  I spent a year watching what I was eating, exercising very regularly, and not moving the scale...AT ALL!  Maybe within a 10 pound window.  BUT, with the needed 60 to lose, this is nothing when the fluctuation was so crazy.

I have sworn that since my first pregnancy 12 years ago, my hormones have been jacked up to hell and back and never got back to normal after my daughter was born.  It just didn't make sense that I was eating right and exercising and lot losing like I should.  Well, I yo-yo dieted, and yes, that didn't help either.  So, I have gone another route this time, trying to get this grossness off of my body.  I have witnessed many successes and believe this just might be what I need to get my body fully back in line where it needs to be.  I began, on Saturday, the homeopathic HCG diet.

Day 1 and 2 were FAT HEAVY foods with the drops. Those were actually good days, and I thought that I would have reveled in the "premission" to eat everything I wanted with no guilt. I don't know if it was the drops, or my conscience, but I wasn't able to eat as much as my normal appetite would have allowed.


Monday was my first day on the drops and my 500cal diet. It was not as bad as I thought, but at the end of the day, I am hungry. The diet protocol says that by the end of the first week, my body should be adjusted to the drops and diet and my hunger and cravings should dissappear.

Tuesday, I did some adjustments on WHEN I was taking my drops, and that seems to have made things better. I can tell that my appetite is adjusting nicely.

As the true skeptic that I am, I still am in amazement that I have awakened each morning to a 1+ pound loss. It is crazy! So far I am down 3.4 pounds. YAY!!!

We shall see. I am always the skeptic, but also always the one to jump at trying something new.

I go on vacation, only to come back and find.....

.....that I have gotten my very first blog award!  YAY!  Thanks to Maggie for the Versatile Blogger Award!!

When I started blogging however long ago it has been, I never really thought I was doing it "quite right".  Mine just don't have the pizzazz that many of the blogs I read have.  I just enjoy this venue of communication for things such as keeping family updated on us as well as the accountability for my weightloss journey.  Anyway, I guess if I were to get any award for blogging, this hits the nail right on the head.  You never really know what might show its way on here...hence the versatility thing, I guess.... :)

So,  along with this award comes rules.  And here they are....
1. Thank the person who gave you the award.

2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Nominate fifteen newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about the award.

1.  DONE!  Thanks, again, Maggie!!
2.  Seven Things About Me

•  My name is Lori Anne.  And, yes, just as most any good southern lady would, I go by both first and middle names.
• I have 3 children: Berkeley who is 11, and Bennett and McKinley, who are 3 year old boy/girl twins.  I have been married for 12 years. 
• I love working out, have always been active, but LIFE after kids hit me square in the face (because I was young and stupid) and derailed everything I have ever known about eating right and staying active. Hence the humongous weight loss journey I find myself on at the present time.
• I am counting down the days to meeting my goal weight so that I can get this nasty skin cut off my midsection from where pregnancy was not so nice to this girl.
• I have a degree in Exercise Physiology, and I teach Junior High English....don't ask.
• I thrive on social time, whether with kids or without.  
• I met 5 of my very best friends online through a twin chatboard and we go on vacation of some sort every year. (last year was a girls weekend retreat, this year was an adults retreat to the beach, the future is ours to conquer...)

3.  And here are the 15 blogs I love to read:
http://eliminatethebabyweight.blogspot.com/
http://weightlossforrealthistime.blogspot.com/
http://fatasiangal.blogspot.com/
http://projectlookgoodnaked.blogspot.com/
http://rebuildingamy.blogspot.com/
http://katlynnmarlenesmith.blogspot.com/
http://thematernallens.blogspot.com/
http://tippytoediet.com/
http://didijusteatthatoutloud.blogspot.com/
http://weighdownsouth.com/
http://live2write4u.blogspot.com/
http://tote-a-bugg.blogspot.com/
http://copermom.blogspot.com/
http://espinozagossip.blogspot.com/
http://queenwithprincesses.blogspot.com/
http://pinkertonfamilyblog.blogspot.com/

OK!  So, now I am off to spread the word!  SEE YA!

Happy Tuesday~

I am on the countdown to my wonderful, fabulous vacation.  So far this week (yes, I know it is only Tuesday), I have clean my house from top to bottom (like REALLY cleaned), AND am 100% caught up on my laundry, which NEVER seems to happen with 5 people in this family, including one 11 year old who changes clothes fifteen times a day.  I honestly felt a huge sense of accomplishment with that feat.  With that, I have not officially exercised so far this week, but I am watching what I am eating and drinking lots wata!  I hope the rest of this week goes by as quickly as these two days have.  We are heading out bright and early on Friday.  YAY!!!

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST WEEK EVER!!!

My husband and I are going on our FIRST EVER real vacation.....and without kids.  We married at the very young age of 20, still in college, and with a baby.  We moved to Northwest Arkansas from Mississippi, where we both were born and raised, straight out of college in pursuit of the American Dream.  We have been married for 12 years, and have spent those 12 years trying to "get ahead", meaning very few vacations.  We did take our oldest to Disney World when she was 6, but aside from that, we have pretty much done the camping trip thing (which I am not complaining, because I love to camp), or spent our vacations visiting family since we live 8+ hours for any of them.  Anyway, our first ever trip is coming up next week.  We are going to Topsail, NC, and renting a beach house with 5 other couples.  I am stoked.  I could totally be a professional beach bum.  I love the beach, and being 12+ hours from any beach has really taken its toll on me these past few years.  Have I said how excited I am?  I AM SO EXCITED!  I am not going to lie, I am a little anxious with ben so far from my kids (I have never been away from the twins), but I know everything will be fine and the granparents will love spending some good quality time with them.  Ok. So, yes I am excited about my trip. :)

Saturday Weigh-In

last week 186.6
this week: 189.6

I am not going to make excuses.  I am up 3 lbs.  I know I am coming off of a holiday weekend, but I should have been a little more conscientious. 

Goals for this week:
1. enjoy a beer or two at the lake this weekend if the opportunity presents itself.
  (no beer during the week)
2. WATER!
3. keep house clean and laundry kept up as I pack for our trips.
4. be consientious of everything that goes in my mouth.
5. be back down those 3 pounds and hopefully a pound or two more in addition.

On another note....I came across mention of this article in the comments of one of the blogs I follow, and I think it is worth posting

Here I Am....

This has been one crazy week.  Having the 4th on Sunday, then everyone off of work on Monday to observe the day has totally messed up my ebb and flow of the week.  My husband's boss invited us, Monday night, to hang out at the Natural's baseball game, since he has one of the boxes reserved and it would be fun.  Lots of crap food and beer nonetheless.  And we got home very late.  On Tuesday and Wednesday I had some Professional Development workshops to attend.  B-O-R-I-N-G!!!  Not getting in until late Monday night and then having to drive an hour to these workshops has left me exhausted on this dreary, wet Thursday.  I need to be cleaning my house and getting it ready for the realtor to come over tonight and get it listed.  I think I need a nap first.  I will definitely get my workout in and then some today, with what this house looks like.  Gross!  On another note....I am very excited that the twins' preschool teacher is getting Zumba certified, and will begin classes at the beginning of August!  I can not wait!  I have been looking for a place that I didn't have to JOIN to get some Zumba classes.  YAY!!!!  As soon as I get back from vacation, it is ON!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Saturday Weigh-In

Weight: 186.6
Down: .6lb.

I am OK with this.  It is a loss.  This is a holiday weekend.  This gives me hope that I will be fine for the festivities ahead.

Happy 4th of July, my friends!

The Upcoming Weekend

UGH!  I am DREADING this weekend.  Food, food, and more food....and beer.  I can't avoid it.  I can't skip it.  I am trying so hard to conjur up some plan to not overdo things and totally blow out the water the few pounds I have lost in the past few weeks.  I have 20 days until vacation.  I want to LOSE 10 pounds before I leave....not GAIN the ones back that I have already lost.

So far, this is my plan:

Friday afternoon: Mommas and Margaritas by the pool: (all I can say is someone needs to come up with DIET Margaritas)

Friday evening: Fireworks on the lake: picnic supper = sandwiches and veggies and a beer or 2

Saturday: the Hubby's work 4th celebration = LOTS OF FOOD...focus on avoiding carbs, and stick with the meat and fruit and veggie tray, and a couple of beers. get lots of water

Sunday: if it doesn't rain, we will probably hit the lake in the afternoon.  With two 3 year olds, this usually turns into some good exercise...

Monday: get back on track!!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

 

I think I am becoming obsessed

I am spending countless hours a day perusing and "joining" blogging communities for personaly accountability.  I am obsessed.  I find myself checking my "pages" for responses from other, more experienced members....longing for someone to reach out and say "Hey, I got your back."  This can't be healthy.  Maybe I need to choose one or two.  This whole blogging community thing is so confusing to me.  I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing "to be actively participating."  My head hurts.  UGH! 

Yep, It's Monday

It's Monday.  Yep.  Awakened by two wide-eyed, wild and crazy 3 year olds who have yet to read the memo that says it is my summer break I am am supposed to be sleeping in!  So, I drag myself out of bed, get the crazies ready for school, load them up and drop them off.  YAY!  My 11 year old is actually up, a miracle in itself, and is complaining of starvation from the get-go.  So, what do I do, run through McDonlads.  UGH!  I hate McDonalds.  It is the devil.  But their iced coffee is sooooo good, but it is soooooo bad.

Breathe.

The rest of the day is not a loss.  Forget it.  Modify and Adjust (I am a teacher, right, therefore I am a pro at this).  And move on.

As for last week.  Hmmmm, lets see.  I had lunch with a friend on Tuesday.  We went to McAllisters, and I had a turkey panini thing with some potato salad.  I didn't even eat it all.  YAY me!  This is a BIG deal why?  I grew up being required to eat or at least try any dish that was served at a meal, AND I had to CLEAN my plate.  It has been a huge reconditioning mission for me to be ok with leaving food on my plate.  I am getting better.  Then, I had lunch with my preggo-with-twins friend on Thursday.  She was one of my lifelines when my twins were born, and now she is gonna be a mommy to twins.  She is realizing how overwhelming it really is.  We did Mexican, and I had a taco salad.  This weekend, we spent time at the lake on the boat.  And of course I had a few beers.  Last night a bunch of friends were suppossed to get together for FreedomFest at one of the local churches, but we got rained out.  So what do we do.....go eat, of course.  We went to Chili's.  I had chicken fijitas.  Not bad.  This is NOT, I repeat, NOT a typical week for me.  I have never for as long as I can remember, eated out that much in 1 week (unless I am out of town with school, or something).

Exercise.  Well, I am still test driving my shoes for review (see here).  So I am a walking/running fool these days.  I try and get out early because it has been so stinking hot....I mean ridiculously hot for the middle of June in Northwest Arkansas.  And, I must say, swimming at the lake and handling two 3 years olds is a good amoount of exercise in itself.  We all sleep good after a day at the lake.

My oldest daughter, who is 11, has been playing in the End of Season Softball tournament, so we have been doing a lot of quick and easy meals.  Sanwiches, hot dogs, salads...you get the picture.  One, because by the time the hubby gets home, I get the twinsies, and the SB star gets ready, there isn't much time for a big meal.  And, two, it is too hot for big heavy meals.  The heat just zaps the energy to eat, and I don't want her puking in the middle of her game.

I am just starting this whole blogging for motivation/accountability thing.  I am weak.  Very weak.  I am dependant upon other people's strength and willpower.  I need serious and hard-ass accountability.  I am one to make excuses for the sake of convenience and laziness.  I have all the desire in the world with no lasting willpower to get me there.  I am not looking for a quick fix.  I realize that I didn't do this to myself overnight, and that this weight isn't going to go away overnight.  I am happy with a consistant slow loss....as long I see a loss.  I know my weight is only a number and the way my clothes fit is more important.  I have a long way to go.  But as with everything else, it starts with the first step....and here I am.

6/26/10 Weigh-In

Weigh in for today: 187.2
Down .4lb.

A loss is a loss, right?  And I FINALLY got under 188....which seems to be where I get stuck.So, the fact that I am on the low end of 187, makes me even happier!  I did eat out twice this week, and even though I made decent choices, eating out is still eating out.  That is the bad thing about teachers being out for the summer.  About half way through the break, we get super bored and we start having more lunch dates to keep ourselves entertained and to just get out of the house.Yes, we do exercise together too, but my two closest friends are pregnant, one carrying twins, so of course their workouts aren't quite as strenuous as mine need to me right now.  And that makes it kinda weird to workout together.  Anyway.  We are going to the lake later, which is always exercise in itself trying to keep up with the twins, and making sure they stay safe, especially since they are so fearless right now.

Wanna-be

I am a wanna-be photographer.  I have the camera, and a few lenses.  I just can't seem to find the time to actually perfect the skills that I have learned and actually put forth the effort to become this photographer lady.  I guess I am still trying to figure out who I am and what my style is as a photographer.  I don't really have a style yet.  But this I do know.  Camera bags are UGLY!  I am a purse-a-holic, and to carry around a god-aweful camerabag that does not match my "style" in purses, handbags, etc. is not appealing to me in any sense.  So, on a mission to find THE PERFECT camera bag, I happened upon Epiphanie camera bags....OMG!  I want on SOOOOOOOO bad.  So, any chance that I get, I enter to win one, because, lets face it, it is a lot more fun to try and win something than to actually buy it.....Plus it is a lot cheaper, and with 3 kids, the budget always seems a little too tight for such luxuries.  So, here is my plug for SIMPLE, who is giving away one of the super-awesome bags.  Keep your fingers crosssed that they pick my number.....thanks!

4 New Pairs of Shoes

Yep, you heard me right!  Just out of curiosity more than anything, I put my name with Fitness Magazine in to be a tester of running shoes.  I never in a million years thought that I would ever be picked.  Well, guess what.  I did.  I have some serious overpronation issues that makes my running HELL on my body, so I essentially try to avoid it at all costs and just walk....really fast.  HA!  Well, I got this crazy whim of an idea back at the beginning of the year that I wanted to run a 5K, initally by this spring, but that didn't happen....life+sick kiddos+a very rough winter....I still intend on running a 5K at some point, and I have a friend even trying to take my into a half marathon (wait! what?).  I HATE to run.  It hurts.  Ok.  So back to my original point of my post.  Anyway, I did get chosen to test 4 pairs of shoes out that are specifically for overpronators (ME!). 

The first pair were these God-aweful pink Avias.  I am not sure I can even wear these enough to give the review they need...they are SO UGLY!  There are like 5 different shades of pink on this shoe.  Did I mention that I DO NOT LIKE PINK....I own nothing PINK!  Needless to say that when we opened the package up to find these shoes, my husband was quite amused.  I have worn them (when no one was around) and have begun to collect my opinions of the shoe.  And I did put in my 2 cents about the PINK overkill.

The second pair of shoes I got were Sauconys.  OMG!  I am in L-O-V-E!  I have never owned a pair of this brand of shoe...I have always been a Nike girl.  This shoe is like tying a pillow around my foot.  It is fabulous....I have been missing out!  I might add, the colors suited me much better....white with blue and a metallic silver.  Not over kill on the color, though.

My third pair on shoes arrived yesterday.  I have not worn them yet, but they are Mizzunos.  They are pretty sweet looking, and I can't wait to get out in them and give them a test drive.  I will give an update on these as soon as I can.  I have never owned any Mizzunos either, so we shall see.

The last pair of shoes that I am waiting on are Adidas.  Now.  I have owned a few pair of Adidas running shoes, and I have never been satisifed, thus always going back to my reliable Nikes.  I am interested to see what I will get and how I will like them.  I am going to try and keep an open mind and judge them with no bias from past experiences.

BUT!  Talk about motivation to exercise!  The requirements are that I must put 20 or so miles into each shoe before I give a full review.  This is awesome!  I have a set goal, 4 new pairs of shoes, and I am off!

Try, Try Again

Well, after finally having my followup visit with my doctor, this is the plan.  I am back on my Wellbutrin and Phenteramine.  Yes, I know the Phenteramine is bad, but it is only temporary a highly monitored by my doctor.  And the Wellbutrin, well, lets just say if I didn't go back on my happy pills, Momma was gonna totally meltdown.  I have been wanting back on for a while, and the stress of the potential moving this summer and everything else (daily life) just made it all the more evident that I need it right now to survive and stay sane.  Anyway, that being said, all of my bloodwork came back normal.  So.  He is wanting me to begin a Herbalife diet along with the meds and exercise.  I hope this is the boost I am needing.  I was 196.8 this morning.  I need to do some measurements.......

I am a scale-a-holic

So, I weighed again today.  194.6.  Still going down.  I ate some cookies today at work, though, so I probably gained it all back...because that is the way this body rolls!  It is totally emotional/boredom eating.  I have to get out of that classroom before it makes me crazy!!  4 days!!

Saturday Weigh-In

195.  It is a loss.  Thank goodness.  We were constantly on the go yesterday.  Went to a fundraiser pancake breakfast.  Took the twins to the playground.  Attended a baby shower.  The house showed yesterday amidst all of this, so a super sonic house cleaning took place since we only had about an hour's notice of the showing.  It was pretty much crazy to try and get house showable in less than an hour...and then they were 15 minutes early.  Anyway.  I don't think I ate too bad yesterday.  I had 2 pancakes for breakfast with coffee.  For lunch, I just had some finger foods from the shower.  Little pimento and cheese finger sandwiches and some pinwheels and some strawberries.  The worst part was probably the punch, so whatever.  Bill grilled some jalapeno deer sausage last night for supper and we ate it with some pepperjack cheese slices and some garlic bread crisp things that we get from the bakery at the grocery store.  I did breakdown and buy a fat burner.  I don't have any high hopes for it, I just need something for a mental psych out to get me out of this slump.  We will see. 

My Day Off

Well, I took a personal day today to relax.  Our personal days do not roll over from year to year, so I wasn't gonna let it go to waste, and after the year I have had, I feel like I deserve it.  I THOUGHT I was gonna get to relax.  But, no.  I got an email from my realtor yesterday that someone might be showing it on Saturday.  So, guess what I have been doing.  Not relaxing, that is for sure.  I have been cleaning like a mad woman.  I must admit, though.  It has been reaaaallllly nice to be home in the peace and quiet with no one yelling MOMMY every 2 seconds.  I am still not moving anywhere on my weight loss.  Bill and I walked 2 nights this week.  One night we walked 4 miles, the next 2 miles.  We got a late start and it got dark and the kids were at home.  We were just walking around our cul-de-sac.  Since then it has been raining, so we have not done anything.  It's a start.  Anyway.  Weigh-in is tomorrow.  We shall see.....

Make sure your weight-loss goals are realistic

***I found this and cut it into my blog....I love this advice!***
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-loss-goals/MY01265

By Donald Hensrud, M.D.

In many things we do, it's important to have goals, and people often have goals for weight loss. This usually revolves around a specific short-term goal of losing a specific number of pounds, which makes some sense. However, there are some important things to consider related to weight loss goals:

■Have realistic weight loss goals — Many people have unrealistic goals in terms of the amount of weight they would like to lose. Some people aim for a weight they haven't achieved for many years, perhaps the weight they were at in high school. While it's important to have lofty goals, if you're unrealistic it can make it difficult to achieve more modest goals. I often see people who don't achieve an unrealistic goal, throw in the towel, and gain back all the weight they lost. Don't take for granted any amount of weight loss, it's better than gaining!

■Focus on process goals — Weight loss is an outcome goal — an end result. It's important to have a good method or process on how to obtain that goal. The outcome results from changes in the process, i.e., changes in diet and physical activity. So, one strategy to achieve a good outcome goal for weight loss is to have a good plan and achieve process goals in diet and activity. Setting a goal of losing 100 pounds without having a good plan on how to do it is like setting a goal of making a million dollars and not having a good financial plan. Examples of process goals in diet and activity are eating one more serving of vegetables daily or walking 30 minutes daily. Process goals can change over time as you achieve them.

■Emphasize long-term lifestyle changes — A short-term weight loss goal will only be helpful if it leads to long-term goals such as keeping the weight off. People often look at weight loss and weight maintenance as separate things. In other words, people sometimes feel "once I reach my weight loss goal, I can relax my efforts". This usually doesn't work, because when you relax your efforts you may go back to previous habits in diet and activity and the weight comes back on. Instead, weight maintenance is just an extension of weight loss. The habits that will help keep the weight off are the same ones that helped to lose the weight, which is why we emphasize sustainable lifestyle changes. Therefore, for long-term weight loss don't make changes in diet and exercise that you can't keep up indefinitely — but don't underestimate your ability to change either.

■Improving health is the primary goal — The best goal in my mind is to improve health. So — this may sound unusual when discussing weight loss — if you make beneficial changes in diet and activity, your health will improve, even if you don't lose a pound. But paradoxically, by focusing on process goals in diet and activity, it can be easier to achieve the outcome of sustained weight loss. For more on goal setting see sections in the book.

Weight This Morning

Well, this morning I was down to 196.  This fluctuation is baffling me.  I know it is natural.  But this inconsistant?  Really?  I am going to call tomorrow to get my appointment with my OBGYN for a followup to all of my bloodwork.  I am not looking for a quick fix.  I just want something that works for me, and I have exhausted all of my resources within my means trying to figure out what is best for me.

I wish I could get my husband on board 100% with this whole healthy eating thing.  He WANTS to be, but when it comes down to it, he refuses to give up the "nabs".  I can't make him see that even the Cheese-Its and Chex-Mixes aren't as "healthy" as he wants to believe.  He is "one of those" who can stop drinking coke for a day and lose 5 pounds.  So, he has this justification that he is within his healthy weight, so he should not have to give up the snacks he enjoys. 

Thus the journey to transform my FAMILY into healthy eaters hits a roadblock everytime we go to the grocery store.  Here I am, trying to buy healthy for myself and the kids, and he screws it up.  I NEED for him to convert to this healthy lifestyle as much as I need for me to.  I LOVE healthy snacks.  And I think my kids do to when they ask for them.  But, what 3 year old is going to choose carrots over check-mix?  Not many.

I have a long raod ahead of me.  And for now it is pretty lonely.

Today's Weigh-In

198.  WTF!  I mean, really.  WTF!  I have not eaten THAT bad this week.  I have been running around crazy, in fact, with our Outdoor Classroom at school.  I am officially at rock bottom.  I really do not know what is goin on here.  I am gonna be calling my doctor back Monday morning for a follow up and see what he suggests from here.  This is ridiculous.  Right now, I am internally beating the shit out of myself.  My brain is running circles around itself trying to figure all of this out.  What is wrong with me?

Don't Quit

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!

- Author Unknown

   
I am a sucker for motivational quotes, poems, etc.  Now, if I could only make myself take them and run with them.

Only One Pound

Hello, do you know me?

If you don't, you should. I'm a pound of fat,
And I'm the HAPPIEST pound of fat that you would ever want to meet.
Want to know why?
It's because no one ever wants to lose me;
I'm ONLY ONE POUND, just a pound!
Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds, or fifteen pounds, but never only one.
So I just stick around and happily keep you fat.
Then I add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice it.
That is, until I've grown to ten, twenty, thirty or even more pounds in weight.
Yes, it's fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT, left to do as I please.
So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying, "Oh, I only lost one pound."
For you see, if you do this, you'll encourage others to keep me around because they'll think I'm not worth losing.
And, I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you.
Happy Days!!!
After all, I'm ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

- Author Unknown
 
 
I found this on someone else's blog and needed to re-post it.  Very appropriate.

Reflecting

I have had a lot on my mind lately and I am finally at a stopping point to reflect on some of what I have been throwing around in my head.  I want to lose weight.  I really do.  I have all the tools....healthy food, access to a pretty decent gym, outside support.  So why do I not just dig in and get it over with?  Am I afraid of failure....again? Yes.  Am I not good at setting priorities? Yes.  Am I weak?  Yes. 

I love food.

I am not sure when I went from a very healthy, conscious eater to one who eats just to eat.  No matter the emotions....positive or negative.  But unlike any other addict, I can't just give up food.  My livelihood depends on it.  I grew up on a farm where we grew pretty much every vegetable native to our region, and ate fresh veggies and fruits all year long.  I love fruits and veggies...aside from a very select few, I love them all.  My family hunted, so we also ate deer meat along with the usual chicken and beef and fish/seafood.  I was taught to clean my plate, as well as to "try" everything that was cooked whether I thought I liked it or not.  Because of this, there are few foods that I absolutely refuse to eat or try.

When I went off to college, of course, food choices changed just a wee bit. As a child, my parents provided us with fairly healthy meals for our main meals and we rarely had "junk food" even in the house. We always ate breakfast, I took my lunch to school, and supper was usually pretty balanced ,and we alwayas ate together at the table. But, once I got to college, I somehow blocked out the healthy eating lifestyle I knew and began making those not-so-good-eating choices that left me carrying a few extra pounds by the end of my freshman year. In high school, I danced on a competitive dance team, which kept me in fabulous shape, but once I got to college, I slowed down drastically, and all of a sudden, the discipline I had known somehow had dissappeared.  I was working in the athletic training department keeping crazy hours with the various teams, and eating when I could....on top of my studies.

Then there was the boy.  The love of my life.  When you are in love you do all kinds of crazy things, and things to you know better than to do, you do anyway.  I got pregnant.  We got married.  I gained weight.  I had baby. Weight stayed.  We were young, married, and with a baby, and still in school.  Thus began my journey of the million yo-yo diets.

After college, we moved eight hours away from everything we knew to try and make a life for ourselves.  I knew no one.  My husband traveled, and I was stuck in a town by myself most of the time with a toddler.  Neeless to say, my eating habits did not improve.

Fast forward to the present.  Here I am.  32 years old.  Married and 3 children that I adore with everything that I have in me.  I am still 196lbs.  I am fighting it everyday.  I am losing everyday.  Why?  Because I have no willpower.  I start off the day with the greatest of intentions, and by 10am have shot them out the door.

So, I am searching for all the right answers.  I have been to the doctor, thinking something really is wrong with me and that he can give me the magical advice to get me going.  But, all of my bloodwork is normal.  Which to me says....it is all in my head.  I am sabotaging myself.  I am my own worst enemy.  body, mind, and spirit.  I came across a blog that had some strategies to keep myself in check with my eating habits, and so I am going to "borrow" the main point so that I can reflect on what they mean to me.

Permission to Feel
I keep my feeling bottled up.  I am not very good at showing emotion.  I am working on it every day.  I am a happy person, for the most part, but there is, deep inside me, a lot of welled up negativity that I wish I could release.  One day I will.  I am working on that.

Staying in Touch With My Emotional State
I am going to try and be aware of the emotions that trigger me to eat, as well as what I am eating.

Make Taking Care of Myself a Priority
This means taking care of me.  I cant be the best mom/wife/friend/teacher/etc if I am not healthy.  And that means getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and keeping my emotions and stress levels in check

Forgive, Assess, & Learn from Slips
I am human.  I am going to fail.  I need to forgive myself, forget it, learn soemthing from it and move forward.
When Triggered Reach Out
I really have a big problem with this one.  Asking for help.  I am very independent.  I am not good at admitting my weaknesses and asking for help to get through a particularly rough patch.

So.  Here is my weight loss journey.  Hopefully I will find a whole new me along the way.  I am going to try and blog at least a couple times a week.  I wish I could be like these super bloggers who blog every day, but that is just not reasonable for me.  So, I will do what I can, when I can.  And that will have to be good enough.

~LA