Have you seen me?

I am still looking....so much has happened since I last posted.....IN 2012!!!!  I thought about erasing everything and starting from scratch.  But, that takes too much work.  So, you can see in my full glory, I have not yet found me.....and I have been looking for quite a while now.  I am hoping that by linking up and actually having real live followers that will hold be accountable that this might actually lead me to.....well....me.

Apparently I am terrible a holding myself accountable.  I need a full time babysitter.  AKA...friends in this with me.  When my family and I moved in Aug 2011, I left my biggest support system....my friends.  My co-workers.  My workout partners.  My fellow moms.  Now I am stuck here in the bayou with no one that I have really found to fill that void.  Yes.  I have friends.  But, not THAT kind of friendship has bloomed.  They all have their little age old cliques that they are parts of.  Most of my friends are neighbors, whom I love dearly and am very blessed to have in my life, but its different.  I have a HUGE VOID.  I have been in a funk of massive proportions since moving down here.  I have no motivation.  No will power.  I want those things.  I just feel like I have gotten so far in over my head, there is so much of me that needs an overhaul.  My mind.  My body.  My spirit.

OK, I sound like a whiney little pansy ass.  Who has no friends.  UGH.  So lame.

Yes.  I have an amazing family.  One that is very supportive and recognizes that I need to take better care of myself.  But, its so difficult when the reality of it is that no one else is willing to walk the walk with me and make the changes as a family.  My husband eats a snack in bed every night.  It brutal.  By the time I get in the bed, my macros are filled up.  Yes, I could manage them better to make room for a bedtime snack.  But, I really do not want to be eating that late at night anyway.  Its the principle.

I want to be footloose and fancy free.  I want to be fun.  I want to be confident.  I KNOW what I have to do.  Its just all so much.  It overwhelms me to try and sustain my goals.

I am involved in two challenges....one through Instagram, and one through a combination of IG and FB.  I just want to find my little place in this world.  It is my hope that through these challenges I begin to find myself again.

So, feel free to link up to me.  I am not even sure how to do that, I have been out of the blogging scene, and everything seems so different.  Can someone help me out?  LOL!